Like an Ole Miss T-Shirt at a Razorback Tailgate Party

Does one need special permission to wear white after Labor Day?

               The answer, of course, is “yes.” You need permission, but that permission will be granted. Exceptions exist for every rule. 

                For example, should you have the misfortune to live outside the South, and you don’t know the fashion rules, then you could be forgiven for wearing a white dress or shoes (gasp) after Labor Day.  Forgiven, but still talked about.  Should you own a yacht and host a gala onboard, your white slacks and nautical jacket could sport sailing-red, white, and navy blue. Wedding-Dress white is preferable in all seasons, especially when “off-white” once suggested something scandalous. If, let’s say, you are the Pope, the white robe and cassock combo is ok and no permissions are necessary. 

                     A white 100% cotton or linen shirt is southern-casual-classy paired with skinny-leg jeans; that is, if you’ve been blessed with skinny legs!

 

So, with all those exceptions, why is there a rule in the first place? Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. Society thrives on rules.  Rule-breakers would be so disappointed should there be no rules to break. But, let's qualify this particular rule: it’s not the white in the outfit that screams fashion faux-pas.  It’s the shoes. 

                    Your mama told you from the day you could choose cute shoes, “Put your white shoes and sandals in their boxes on the day after Labor Day.”  Her advice was right-on. White shoes after Labor Day, well, it’s “just not fittin.” When your fellow fashion friend gives your appearance the once-over, starting with your hair style and travelling down to your toe-nail polish, don’t cause rumbles throughout the South. Acknowledge that September weather is still hotter than the hinges of Hell, and humidity plus temperature dictates comfort.  Go so far as to give the OK to shorts and sandals. But the sandals must not be white.

                  White Shoes after Labor Day is akin to a beribboned picture-hat at a funeral or use of the wrong fork at a dinner party. White shoes in September stick out like 4" heels at a rodeo, like an Ole Miss t-shirt at a Razorback tailgate party. Plenty of reasons exist for why “Princess Margaret would never be a KKG,” but the paramount one must have been that she did not adhere to the upper/utter-most rule in fashion-conscious society:  There Shalt Be No White SHOES after Labor Day.