Rule #1: Refrain from Drinking the Bread Pudding

         The Co-ed's Code, the college-girl's answer book for all question on appearance and behavior was a natural fit with the Southern Lady Rule Book, the Camden edition, authored by my mother and her bridge club friends. It is certain that those ladies had input in the wildly popular Handbook on Southern Graces entitled Why Princess Margaret Will Never Be A Kappa Kappa Gamma!

I willingly share these Top 5 SLRB (Camden ed.) examples with you.

1.      Be sure to acknowledge appearance augmentation such as obviously fresh hair color, face lift, boob/nose job, and fake eyelashes. They’ve spent plenty of good money for the look, so let them know you appreciate their efforts. “Darling, where ever did you get those fabulous press-on lashes?”

2.      Always inquire as to the health of relatives.  “How is Aunt Ophelia after her most recent fall from the Casino bar stool?”-or-  “I did not realize Cousin Tipsy had returned from the Clinic already.  How is she feeling, Dear?”

3.      Eat like a bird. Remember Mammy’s admonition to Scarlett. Be sure to go halves on a sandwich or dessert, ask for a take-home box, even if you only use it for a second roll and the other half of the dessert.  Forget about the starving children in China – leave a morsel or two on your plate. (Though tempting, don't drink the whiskey sauce puddled around the

       bread pudding.)

4.      Thank God for good fashion sense. When you see a Rhinestone Cowgirl outfit on a

       60+ granny who thinks she's 40 years younger, be sure to Thank God you took it

       to Goodwill last weekend.

5.      Do not buy a dress that also comes in 3XL. Though imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, it does not make up for the humiliation as you swish around in your cute little dress and the hefty-bag duplicate shows up at the next church social.