"They weren't secrets, except from me."

"Even though people have passed away, some subjects can be painful to revisit decades later. Think hard before you share old secrets."

The quote surfaced from Family Tree Magazine on Facebook.

Stories I struggled to tell weren't secrets, except from me.
I learned so much, especially about George R. Gordon, my great uncle. So many pieces of the puzzle lay scattered across the floor, some showing his honorable service to others, his business dealings, his intelligence, his public service as Mayor. The tragedy of his home life didn't surface. In fact, his trouble was ignored except for a comment here and there about Emma Sue, his wife. I didn't know his house was the old Methodist Parsonage. So much I didn't know. 

C. Thomas Gordon

Mother told me his son, Thomas, died of an ear infection. I could not grasp that. I learned that to be true, but that he was away at Military School in Memphis when he died. He was seventeen. His parents never recovered. Thomas' sister Jean never recovered either. Oh, how I wish I'd known the truth long ago. Would I have been kinder? Would I have visited more often? I would have understood so much more.

Janie - The more I learned, the more I wish I had been taught how to appreciate knowing her.

I also struggled with Aunt Alice's story. I was fearful of her and her big, black car. Why? Her house was dark and gloomy. Was I right? I was a very young child. 

Charlotte, Thomas with Jean, Elinor, Frances with John Ritchie - Where was Janie? Where was Alice?

Big Tattee (Frances) was a polar opposite to Aunt Alice, in my estimation. She'd welcome me into her house, call me to her chaise lounge, draw funny pictures for me and laugh. I enjoyed her, even as a child. Every time we visited, she was reclined upon the chaise lounge; she was so different from my grandmother and Sookie. I wondered what could keep her lying down all the time. I found out what caused her depression.

My grandmother suffered from depression also, but was not treated as kindly as Frances. Nana was sent to Shreveport for weeks, taking "shock treatments." Sometimes, mother would be gone with her for weeks at a time. The phrase, "For Heaven's Sake, Don't Sigh," came to be a warning. 

There were so many pieces of our story that faded or were missing. After conducting the research, I was finally able to understand and see the puzzle completed. I believe it important to preserve these stories. The creative hand I used made the stories memorable, I hope. 

Baby Shoes, Well-worn

Our parents have passed away also. They had their stories, too, and many of their behaviors caused the younger set of cousins to separate. Addictive behaviors became culprits throughout our family: alcohol, tobacco, all complicating heart disease. Regardless of hardships, the Gordons and the Ritchies were honorable movers and shakers in Camden and Ouachita County and in Ruston, LA.

L to R: James Cooper, Martha Ellen, Margaret Jane, and Thomas Gordon

Any time a writer puts pen to paper and publishes, the work is open to criticism and I'm my toughest critic. 

Easter, 1926. Claude Horne with Margaret Horne. Court House provides backdrop.

When the blog post from Family Tree Magazine popped up, I read it. Then Mother's words returned, "Well, Margaret Jane, you don't have to tell everything you know."